Dear Lord, help me separate my circumstances from my identity. Help me only determine my worth by Your truth and not my performance in any situation. Thank You for looking at me not as I am, but how Jesus has enabled me to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The jist of the lesson was a mom who thought she was hitting the mom high making brownies for the school bake sale (100 individually wrapped ones to be exact) and thought it would be extra special to make turtle brownies only to remember when bagging #97 the school was a nut free school. She was down on herself and beating herself up. How many times have many of us been here? Where we let the task we were not succeeding at identify us at the moment? I know I am really guilty of this on multiple occasions. I think this is my new goal, to do as the prayer says and not let my circumstances identify me. No matter how I succeed or how I fail or how many times I fall, God loves me anyway, and will always be there as long as I remember the sacrifices he made for me.

I was talking to a colleague the other day that I have had many spiritual conversations with. You could say she was on the fence as to whether she was a believer or because of her circumstances. Her family history ranged from an addict to a follower that was led in some interesting directions. She told me yesterday that she has decided that there must be a God, that with the good and bad she has witnessed there has to be something behind it. She is not sure about the whole church and circumstance and pomp, but she has decided that she wants to try and find a church home that fits for her and her family. I have to say, I have never before truly realized what it means to witness and see the fruits of your labor, and I cannot take full credit for her decision, but I think the fact that I could provide facts to even out the exaggerations she was receiving elsewhere, and that I could explain my relationship with God to her in terms of being a parent (a bond we both share) that it help in some small way, and that she would share it with me.. well, it was a small thing and she did not have to do it, but the fact that she did, I think it was God’s way of letting me know that while I may not realize the example I set by professing my faith openly, that the impact is there in small ways. One other example is my son’s who do you love the most game. It is a game he plays, asking everyone who they love the most, because in his 7 year old mind you have to love somebody the most, you can’t love everyone the same amount. Well normally he rotates his answer between his father, his brother and myself, whoever helps him out most at the moment, however the other day he started it out, “Mom, do you know who I love the most?” and my reply, “Is it Phil today?”, to which he came back, “Nope, I love God the most because he loves me the most.” It was one of those parenting moments where you just really sit back and say through all my conceived failures, I must be doing something right for him to get it that simple.

As you go through your day, let your identity shine through that you are a child of the King, that you will have success, and you will have failure, but the most important thing is you realized that as long as you get back up and keep on going, in the end there can be no failure. God Bless.

So in light of this, I want to thank each of you that read this.  I don’t know who reads, or when it is read, I just hope that my little ramblings, if nothing else, cause you to pause and take stock of your surroundings and realize that life can be so much simpler and easier if we remember to respect each other and be polite.  I know, trust me do I know, that it is not always easy, but if it was, everyone could do it and then it wouldn’t mean as much.  So I challenge you, go out today and thank someone.  Maybe it is the person in the cube next to you that gave you a tissue (or a whole box ) or the person that smiled at you in traffic, or the teacher that helped your child learn more than you every imagined for a 6 year old boy, or that 6 year old boy that can melt your heart with a grin.  It doesn’t cost you anything to do it, and it only improves things for everyone, so go for it… and toot your own horn if you like and let me know how it goes.

I guess what I am really trying to say is we only have today.. try to make the best of it.  My son recently asked me what my very favorite thing was as he and his brother were sitting in my lap, and I really couldn’t think of anything better than that moment.  Yesterday, my husband and both sons were dancing together, and it was just infectious, I love seeing my husband so completely wrapped around my children’s fingers… the love oozing around our family can be sickening, but it is ours.

So, sorry for the short post today, but I am going to go enjoy the day

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it. – Danny Kaye

May your day be as colorful as possible and may God continue to bless you and yours

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

Well, most parents probably have the same dilemma that I do, you make the effort to take your child to church, to teach them about God and the things that will help them become loving, compassionate, well adjusted adults. You always wonder if you are doing a good job and if the lessons are really sinking in, if you are meeting the challenge to do as the scripture says and train up a child in the way he should go. Well, I know most people may not see the results for a very long time and say a lot of prayers that what they learn will stick with them. My six year old son, somehow humbles me every night as we say our prayers. He starts out with the typical, “Now I lay me down to sleep…” and we thought we were being smart, when we taught him the prayer we taught him to say and God Bless my family and friends, instead of listening to the barrage of names he could come up with. (It didn’t work, he still lists everyone out and finishes with that for a catchall… ) Then in the last few weeks, after saying the previous, he just starts talking to God.. God thank you for a fun day with my Mommy, and God could show ____ how much fun church is so he will come more, God, today my brother and I did this…. And it is when I hear my 6 year old son saying prayers like he is talking to someone next to him that is a good friend, I realize we are doing something right. He has no qualms about praying in public, thinks it is weird that not everyone does. I hope and I pray that I continue to teach him to be so open and loving in his faith and that I can do the same for Phil. When I look at my children, I realize the extent of God’s love for me, through my love for them.. he doesn’t care if I have drool and boogers all over me, he doesn’t care that I rebel against him, he loves me anyway, when I trip and fall, he catches me even though I forgot to ask, when things are falling apart around me, I have to remember when Sean is falling apart, I just go to him and hold him and listen, and God does the same for me. No everything can’t be fixed, no God can’t go tell somebody to quick picking on me, but that is not his job, he just wants to love me and have me love him back as simple and pure as my boys love me. There is nothing better than when I come home from work and am attacked by the two little people that I love most in this world because they are running with arms outstretched to mom. I can only imagine what God feels like when we run to him. I don’t think I have ever really thought this through so much until I started writing this post, God loves me like I love my children. It is easy for me to do, I just love them, they didn’t have to do anything to make it happen, it doesn’t matter that they don’t always listen or do what I want them to, I love them anyway. What a gift we have been given, and I think I am just sad that it has taken me this long to truly realize the extent of this gift. Love, given freely, no strings attached, all that is asked in return is love.

Wow, there is my profound moment of the day. And on that note, I think Sean and I may have to have our picnic soon and maybe we will go back to the park we went to this weekend and look for more hermit crabs and just enjoy the day. For everyone that reads, may God bless you and may this have touched you or at lest made you smile.

Ok, so I wrote this on Monday, but it for some reason did not publish. I want to thank everyone for their prayers, for those that don’t know I was diagnosed on Monday with a severe case of pneumonia, which has knocked me down, you don’t realize how quick you get worn out when you can’t breathe. Anyway, I am hopefully on the mend and getting better, but will keep everyone posted. Again, thanks.

You know how there are just “those” people that you just don’t want to deal with, the family member that does nothing but whine, the friend that means well, but goes on and on about poor pitiful me? I got to thinking about these people the other day and realized something, I whine about having to listen to it, and about having to “put up” with things and how someting some people do makes absolutely no sense to me. And I started thinking real hard, not something I do real often, and it took being an outsider listening to someone else, and my first response to that person was, well did you pray for that person? And the response was well, I just don’t want to deal with that at all, and then my question came out again, Well, maybe that just means you should pray even more… you see it is easy for us to pray for those we love and cherish, easy for us to pray for those close to us, or for mass groups of unnamed persons that are suffering, but what about that one person you just can’t see eye to eye with, did you say a prayer for them? I have a few situations at work that I am guilty of that, and am now making a conscious effort to remedy, and realizing, I was not meant to know all sides of every story, there is no way I could wrap my brain around it, and thanks to God and what he has given us, I don’t have to. See it is a very simple principle, just pray. If you can learn to pray about it, and I am not talking about a long drawn out thing, I know that when I pray it tends to sound more like a one sided conversation with a friend than a pomp and circumstance kind of thing. For instance, an employee at work was let go, and even though I didn’t always get along with that person, I had to stop and think, it doesn’t matter if I liked him or not, or if he liked me or not, he was a fellow person, going through a struggle, so I said a quick prayer that God light his path and lead him to where he needed to be. Short simple to the point, and hopefully heard. You see it is easy to say God Bless my children, you love them and want good things to happen to and for them, but what about to that guy that cut you off driving to work, did you pray that he made it to his destination safely? Did you thank God that you were at that spot 5 seconds earlier where it could have been disastrous? I spend a lot of time in my car and am now addicted to K-Love, I used to be one of those people that flipped stations after each song, and now I can’t bring myself to do it. And listening to the songs and stories, I now can’t seem to tear myself away. I actually feel a presence with me when I throw caution to the wind and start singing along. (For those that know me, I have to make sure I am in the car alone as not to damage anyone’s hearing.. I have been blessed, but not with a singing voice, he said a joyful noise, not an in tune noise) With this new development, I also find myself noticing little things around me as I drive, I said a prayer for the mother on the cell phone the other day, that she make it safely, said a prayer that the big rig saw me driving beside him, I find myself saying all sorts of prayers.  So I charge you as you go forward from here to think about it the next time you have to listen to someone, or someone just seems to irritate you, remember, you don’t know the full story, you weren’t meant to and aren’t responsible for finding out, you are only responsible for your reaction, whether you whine about having to listen to it or you say a prayer that God help that person find the contentment and happiness we all strive for.

As one of my new favorite sayings from a book series I have been reading, “Blessed be”

Ok, on to today’s topic. I spent most of this past weekend playing with my kids on two beautiful days. A lot of time spent outside. It brought to mind one of my very favorite songs, Legacy, by Nicole Nordeman. As I was putting Sean to bed the other night, I realized we must be doing something right. I told him to say his prayer and he said the run of the mill, Now I lay me down to sleep… and then after asking God to bless his mom and dad and Phil, he just started carrying on a conversation with God. That my 6 year old child is comfortable enough with God and gets the concept that praying is just talking to God and telling him your worries and asking for forgiveness, it touched me. So for today, I wanna leave a legacy, that through my actions, those who are around can be better, they can see the difference that has been made in my life. My children are my legacy, and how I raise them is a true reflection of the type of person I am, good and bad (just ask anyone about Phil’s temper). May I and other parents have the strength to leave a legacy…

Legacy – Nicole Nordeman

I don’t mind if you’ve got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who’s who and so-n-so’s that used to be the best
At such’n'such … it wouldn’t matter much

I won’t lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an ‘Atta boy’ or ‘Atta girl’
But in the end I’d like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don’t have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It’s an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, “Well Done” good and faithful one…

“Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise, which, having no captain, overseer or ruler, provides her supplies in the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest.” Proverbs 6:6-8

Hmmm, as someone who has a very hard time focusing at work (as evidenced by the fact I am writing this) this verse hit home. I am going to keep this short… Do your work, focus and get it done well, and quickly. In all work you do, whether it be at your job or at home or in the church, don’t dawdle, just do it. The ant didn’t need the boss hanging over his shoulder to get things done, and you shouldn’t either. In an economy such as we have today, where cuts are being made everywhere, if you take this to heart, it will be noticed and appreciated by those around you. So for now, I am going to make a commitment to be more focused on my work and get things done. Once you “git r done” you will have more time to do other things as well. As I often tell my 6 year old, the time you have spent whining about this, you could have already been finished. So go forward, try to quit procrastinating, get your tasks done, and may God bless your work.

Till next time…

Ok, so no big intro today, everyone is good, we are all well and happy. On to the above. www.christianity.com has this neat bible study site that has a random scripture generator. This was in the scripture it generated for me today. This is sooooo hard for me. Not only does it say forgive, but bear with each other. This may seem difficult, but if we really forgive, should it be? I know the concept of forgive and forget comes up often, should we forgive and act as if nothing happened? Some may say yes, but isn’t that the same as not taking the time and energy to learn from past mistakes? Oh, I hit my thumb with a hammer, I forgive the hammer, forget it and do it again next time? Or next time I am a little more careful and a little more guarded with my thumb? Sure I have to use the hammer again, so I have to bear with the hammer, but I don’t necessarily need to forget that I smashed my thumb last time and the potential for it to happen again. (I know it is a lot easier to relate this to a hammer than a person, but bear with me (no pun intended) and I may actually get to a point) This verse comes from a passage that was called Rules for Holy Living. I have over the years in many different religions heard many things about forgiveness. I personally think that forgiveness is more for the person forgiving than that being forgiven. Yes there may be peace of mind for the receiver to know that forgiveness has been given, but think about it. We relate a grudge to a cancer, it starts small, but without acknowledgment and action it can quickly fester and grow into something monstrous and scary. Personally, it is not easy to forgive and let things go, and I know I can hold a grudge. But sometimes you just have to sit back and think, what am I accomplishing for me or anyone around me by being upset about this? or angry? Where I work most people get to the point that they say “It is what it is” and when you think about it, you have no control over what others are doing, only how you let it affect you and your life.. so why spend any more time than is necessary on things that in the grand scheme of things matter very little? For me personally, with the trials and tribulations of the last 2 years in our family, I have learned there are 4 important things in my life, God, Thomas, Sean and Phil. The rest is stuff. Do I love others? Of course, my extended family means the world to me, but when it comes down to it, those 4 are what really at the core matters. Do I still get upset about stuff? Do I still have grudges? ABSOLUTELY.. however the difference I think is that I am starting to realize them quicker and realize the difference in when I say I forgive something and when I actually do. When I quick letting the small stuff get to me and bother me, I am learning I am a much happier me.

ok, so things here are hectic and as I did a random search for a scripture today, this is what came up.. funny how that happens that the scripture just happens to have relevance…

1 Samual 30

22. But all the evil men and troublemakers among David’s followers said, “Because they did not go out with us, we will not share with them the plunder we recovered. However, each man may take his wife and children and go.”

23. David replied, “No, my brothers, you must not do that with what the LORD has given us. He has protected us and handed over to us the forces that came against us.

24. Who will listen to what you say? The share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as that of him who went down to the battle. All will share alike.“

I am having a problem lately that some people at work either don’t pull their weight, pull too much weight or want to jump in and yell at the last minute. It is very easy to say screw you, I did the hard work to get here, now get out of my way and let me do my job.. which is where I was today when I read the above. You know what, everyone has different motivations for their actions, and everyone can get to the same point through various means. There is no reason to become defensive. Yes it is nice to get recognition for hard work, but at the end of the day in all we do, it is how we do it together and what we do with what we have. I am grateful that I have been blessed with the ability to do the job I do, and that I can contribute in a meaningful way to my company, to my family, to my church and just in general to those around me. So my pledge from now on is to try and do better with feeling the need for recognition and justification. God knows my heart and what is in it, and what I have and have not done… I can leave it all up to him and move on from there. I am not saying that will be easy, who doesn’t like a pat on the back, but I will not seek it or use it to my advantage, but be humbled by it and know it comes from not just those around me but through them from God.

I really hope my little ramblings are helping others, it is hard to put yourself out there sometimes and I just appreciate that you are reading, and even if noone reads, it helps me collect my thoughts and forces me to reflect. Well, off to finish my work and get it to those that are waiting. I hope everyone has a great week.

At work I got some big stuff finished this week and things should slow down for maybe 2 -3 days before the next wave. Having such a small department, we stay busy which is nice, it keeps me from getting too distracted.

OK the quote of the day:

“When you get to the end of all the light you know and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.” -Edward Teller

I think it is pretty explanatory, with faith, you just know when God leads you to something he will lead you through it. It may not be how you pictured it happening, or how you are comfortable with it happening, but with faith, you will come through it in His time and way. This is not always easy to accept. Over the past 2 years with my husband’s and my own illnesses, I have learned to put a lot of faith and trust that I have to let God have it.. I can’t expect things to happen on my timetable or wishes, He has a plan and will be there for me.

Ok, enough rambling for the day. If you can’t tell, I lately have been focusing on working on my spiritual health. Yes I believe in God and that He is the way for me, but I am struggling with am I really listening to Him, and doing what He wants me to, or am I doing things with selfish reasons and being impatient. I think it is a little bit of both. I think my relationship with Him will always be changing and growing, and a lot of it depends on me and my ability to let go.. I need to work on control issues.. (I like to have what I want, when I want it…I know a big surprise for anyone that knows me) Anyay, again, enough rambling for now.

For everyone reading.. have a great weekend and enjoy the cold. It may even snow here Sunday, which is a complete rarity. (It is 25 F here and 18 with the wind chill..) So stay warm and until next time, may you be blessed